Condo

Looks like things are moving forward on the condo. Too fast. The closing is in two weeks. The home inspection is on Saturday. More later....

Busy week

Tired am I. Finally got the Focus fixed. Hopefully no more spending money don't need to at this time. Things are moving forward with the condo. Hopefully it be mine, and the bank's, on 9/14.

A Rabbit's Tale: Dance of Life

The little rabbit stood alone, watching the other rabbits around hop and skip in the forest. They were playing her favourite rabbit game. Try as she might, each time she attempted to join in, she tripped about awkwardly. When this happened, the other rabbits laughed at her and called her "Grace". Soon even she forgot her real name. In moments when Grace was alone, she danced around the trees with ease. She was as smooth and graceful as any ballerina. An old owl sat high above her one night, watching her intently. The moonlight streamed through the treetops like a soft spotlight and he sat and watched as little Grace moved in and out of the moonbeams. Finally he said, "Grace, you are more graceful than any creature I've ever seen". Grace was startled that someone had been watching her, but listened carefully to the wise owl's words as he continued. "You have carried this beauty within you all this time, but locked it inside when you tried too hard". Often we are too intent on proving ourselves and pleasing others. The harder we try the more impossible the task becomes. We begin to lose our identity and all sense of who we really are and what we can do. Then come the power robbers who through negative talk, remarks and jibes would rather have us believe that we cannot. Some of us may be fortunate to run into those like the old owl, the power enablers and facilitators, who bring back to us a sense of who we really are and what we are really meant to be. They help us see the beauty that is locked away inside, the potential that we all have. Others finally realise that they have two friends who can always be counted on. The first, themselves, and the second, nature, which never calls us names or whispers behind our backs. We come to a point when we begin to be honest with ourselves. We see the truth that we are all creatures of our times, that imperfections and faults are part of every being's life tapestry and that all elements are woven into our lives, some frozen in time, others still open to inside work and shaping out. Then in a moment of great discovery we embrace all that is part of ourselves. Like the rabbit we learn to dance and celebrate our wholeness. We become less obsessed with the scorn that can be heaped on us by others. The negative is drowned by positive images. We realise like the rabbit that nature is our friend. Nature waits patiently. There is no pressure to be anyone else than who we already are. We relearn the dance of life. All the while we have just tried too hard. Grace is not some sophisticated word used only for artists or models on a catwalk. It is the ability to live life on one's own terms, the ability to kindle true life in others, the strength and courage to overcome those who would control and manipulate us. Sometimes grace in living comes after repeated failures. The rabbit Grace picked herself up when she came to a sense of her true self. Many walk through your life, but few leave footprints on your heart. Take long spells of rest in nature. Become like Grace the rabbit who found that she had an identity of her own, so precious, that she had to first discover it by herself. And then when you discover your true identity and your own voice, become a power broker in this world, for gentleness and understanding.

A Day later, different mood

Okay feeling much better today. Whatever it was I'm getting over it. The roomies will be out tonight.

I am having a midlife crisis?

I think I need a new life, new job, something.

I like the people I work with, most of my client's and such. I think I'm in a rut. Seems like the same stuff different day, different month. Probably why I dread going to work in the morning. I just can't seem to get out of the house and to work on time. I have been on time the last few days. Doesn't matter since I got written up for tardiness and excessive use of sick time. I feel like I'm back in school.

So my supervisor decides she wants to meet with me this morning. I walk into her office and of course she says I'm late. I stated that I wasn't. Whatever. I signed the paper without even reading it. I was pissed. I just gathered my files and left to make visits.

I'm done. I don't know how long I will stay. I really wanted to buy a condo first, get settled and then find a new job. I may just go ahead and start looking for a job.

Today

Today did not start on a good note. Ok I was late. At least I called. I got written up for this. I sick of hearing 'you use too much sick time.' Bite me. 'No, I can't schedule doctor's appointments in the evening.' Bite me. 'Sorry my car keeps breaking down. I have to get it fixed. I need to take the time off. ' What a hassle. Bite me.

I really dread going to work anymore. I think part of the problem is that I think I am perimenopausual. Probably why I have been so tired and crankier than usual.

I decided not to let the hopping roomies out tonight. I can't deal with them tonight. I love my rabbits but I just need the break.

Tired

I'm tired of feeling tired. Note to self. I think you really need to get that bloodwork done that you asked the doctor about in May. You have the script for it dummy. Just do it.

I like this site from a fellow blogger.

http://somewhereinnj.blogspot.com/

I forgot that I even started this last year. I did even bother to post here. I guess this is the place to write my random thoughts within reason. If that is possible.

So here it goes...